How to choose a teapot (a 9-step program)

You can fall in love with a teapot that is one of many in a homewares store or have one made bespoke, ensuring it’s as individual as you are. In any case, choose wisely if you want to brew your tea well.

Fragments (Teapot) by David Cushway | National Museum Cardiff

Step 1: Denial
The sound of shattering porcelain rings out like an uncanny bell. For three whole seconds you stare in disbelief at the shards on the floor. It is impossible to reconcile that noise with the fact you have just dropped your favourite teapot.

Step 2: Anger
Swear at self for being clumsy. Swear at teapot manufacturer for the broken, unusable state of your favourite teapot. Swear at teapot for making floor unsafe to walk on due to sharp bits everywhere.

Step 3: Bargaining
Maybe you can glue it back together?

Step 4: Depression
You’ll never find a teapot like it ever again.

Step 5: Acceptance
You resolve to buy a new teapot.